


Appletime

by SecurityBreach



Category: Iron Man (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apples of Idunn, Asgardians - Freeform, Attempt at Humor, Avengers Tower, Avengers team dynamics, Cultural Differences, Gen, Gossip, Midtown Manhattan, Norse Bro Feels, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Stark Tower, Taking serious liberties with Norse Mythology, golden apples
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:24:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecurityBreach/pseuds/SecurityBreach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>***STORY IS ON HIATUS. SORRY.***</b>
</p><p>It's appletime for Thor, and Idunn, the Goddess of Spring and Youth, and Mistress of the Golden Apples, is just doing her job. This story takes place after <i>Thor: The Dark World</i>. Thor thinks his brother died on Svartalfheim. Odin is ruling Asgard, and Loki is not impersonating the All-father. JARVIS is still JARVIS, so I guess Ultron hasn't happened yet. The God of Mischief does not show up, but people are talking about him a lot. Oh dear, how those Aesir love to gossip. Tags might change with later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dewy Meadows For Everyone

**Author's Note:**

> No copyright infringement intended.

It is just another dull evening in Midtown Manhattan, and Thor is starting to wonder if it's really worth it. He is sitting on a couch in Tony Stark's drawing room at the Avengers Tower with Jane Foster perched next to him. She is smiling her most beautiful smile, and it's kind, and sweet, and innocent. And Thor is _bored_. He's feeling terribly guilty about the whole situation, but he can't help it. He is simply and utterly bored. Bored out of his wits ( _you don't have any wits,_ his brother (his dead brother) _tells him mockingly_ ). Thor's new shield brothers (including a new shield sister) are gently disputing over tonight's choice of movies. Someone wins the argument and suddenly there's a teaser, music and some opening credits. Thor frowns upon Midgard's latest elaborate attempt at storytelling. Why don't they just give up? The god of thunder feels very strongly about this. An epic saga and a bard with a good voice is all that's needed on Asgard to turn a mere gathering of comrades-in-arms into a success. Jane Foster hands Thor some food and he accepts the fare, thanking her politely. The ale she is offering him is also horrible. Somehow, Thor decides, Odin, his father and king of Asgard, seems to have made a terrible mistake by withdrawing from this realm 1000 years or so ago. Midgard has clearly been going downhill ever since.

Thor would never say that aloud, though. It is a well-known fact that there is a purpose to everything the All-Father does.

Another well-known, and perhaps even more interesting fact is that Odin does not react well to anything that smacks even remotely of criticism.

\-------

If Thor notices that he is being watched he doesn't let on. Anthony Edward Stark keeps observing the Thunderer, kind of mirroring him. Both men are sitting with their legs apart, arms crossed in front of their respective chests, chins up, as if they were unconsciously locked in some kind of alpha male contest. The attitude comes naturally to both of them. But it is Tony Stark's tower they are living in, and deep inside Iron Man feels that his supremacy shouldn't be challenged. Talking about territorial rights. Tony Stark is totally aware that Thor could end him without effort while he's outside his suit. But still. _My world, my house, my couch, my TV set. Don't touch my stuff unless I want you to. Why are you even here?_ The tabloids are always gabbling about Thor's need to make up for his late brothers's crimes. He was adopted, Thor keeps telling them, and Tony thinks it's a bit off.

 _Way to go Thor, but this is not awesome at all. You were raised together, you played together, and, being Asgardians, you must have fought together at some point. Do you remember none of that?_ Tony Stark even feels a slight tinge of jealousy, because he has often wondered what it would have been like to grow up with a sibling. Not someone like Loki, sure, but he has a fleeting vision of a pretty little girl who grows up adoring her big brother, and later introduces him to all her stunning friends at college. _Thank you for depriving me of that too, Howard,_ Tony, ever the egocentric, thinks peevishly. He takes it for granted that his imaginery sister would only be friends with the most ravishing girls.

Whenever Loki's name is mentioned, Thor flashes the adopted sibling card. Tony doesn't like it. Not at all. His initial excitement at meeting a real sentinent being from outer space had quickly worn off. And the media attention Thor is getting has long turned from being slightly amusing (because the oaf has no idea what is going on and insists on talking to newspersons like they were _friends_ ) to being utterly annoying (the number of paparazzis seems to have doubled since Thor showed up).

Almost every day there are new pictures of Jane Foster and Thor on the internet, and everybody seems to think how lucky Dr Foster is to be the _chosen one_ of the prince royal of Asgard, who also happens to be a genuine Norse god. The fact that she is an outstandingly gifted astrophysicist seems to escape the public. Her work could change the world, and Tony frowns on the way Thor is unknowingly trying to avoid physical contact with his girlfriend. Midgard's finest is obviously not good enough anymore. Tony feels he's getting lost in his own thoughts again, because somewhere deep inside there's a nagging feeling that Thor holds Jane responsible for his brother's death. _I just hope that I'm very, very wrong about this. And what's this flick we're watching? Seems dull to me._

 _Dull..._ Tony's thoughts turn towards the people around him. Jane Foster would be all right if she wasn't so besotted with the alien next to her. It seems to do things to her _brain_. Bruce Banner is, of course, a revelation. Unfortunately the others are not so much to Tony's taste. Perhaps he's made a mistake by allowing S.H.I.E.L.D. to move their staff into his tower whenever there is a crisis that needs the attention of the Avengers. Even now, Steve Rogers is radiating a degree of righteousness that should be outlawed. _Go climb an iceberg,_ Tony thinks, _I want my home back._ Perhaps building a separate compound for the Avengers Initiative would be the solution for his problems. _Now that's a thought. It would effectively stop Natasha from giving me her icy stares, and put an end to Clint's attempts at initiating some kind of bro-feelings between us._

Feeling that he has solved several problems at one go, Tony leans back and watches morosely as the generic protagonist on his TV-sceen is trying to tell some generic heroine how much he is in love with her. And then, without any previous warnings, a door opens in the middle of Tony's drawing room. There is a bright flash of white and silver, and a woman is stepping out of it. Her eyes are opened wide with curiosity while she is taking in her new surroundings. Not that anyone is enjoying the spectacle: The Avengers have gone temporarily blind because of the flash.

\-------

Tony is not happy about the sound of foodsteps moving around his drawing room. The stranger is probably touching stuff she is not supposed to touch. Then there is a faint rustling of silk in front of him, and someone is poking Tony in the chest. Right where the arc reactor used to sit. And _someone_ has got a very pointy index finger. "Now there's some scar tissue I really wouldn't care to have," the stranger says. She has got a very girlish voice.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious." Instead of an answer Tony gets a small, cool hand squeezing against his forehead in a way that is really not gentle at all. "Ouch," he says, and then he can see again.

There are several things worth noticing.

Most importantly, Thor does not seem to be compromised by the recent light explosion at all. Perhaps Asgardians come with an inbuild nicitating membrane that protects their eyes from random bursts of light, just like the _common goldeneye_ or the _bald eagle_. In the case of the god of thunder, a third eyelid would even make sense. Evolution appears to be moving in mysterious ways. Thor is just sitting there, smiling even more broadly than before and looking not surprised at all. Dr Foster is leaning against the Thunderer, _clinging_ to him, still not able to see. There is an expression of horror on her face, and the Avengers are taking their time to regain their eyesight. The world's mightiest heroes are in a turmoil, and they are making a lot of noise about their condition while talking about contacting S.H.I.E.L.D.- headquarters. It is completely useless and annoying. Neither Nick Fury nor Agent Coulson are exactly ophthalmologist, so what the fuck? S.H.I.E.L.D. is not the solution to everything. _Bugger. I'm on my own again._

And then there's the smell.

\-------

It's just that _smell_ is simply not the right word at all. The expression is far too mundane to describe what Tony is sensing. He sees a petite woman leanig towards him so close that the tip of her nose is almost touching his. She is looking very young, and she is giving Tony the brightest smile he has ever seen. Her left hand is resting on his right shoulder in a very confident and possesive manner. She is breathing right into his face, and her breath is fragrant with sweet apples, bergamot and a slight trace of peppermint. Tony Stark has made Pepper and the legal team of Stark Industries sue people for lesser offences than breathing up his nostrils, but right now he closes his eyes and inhales deeply. He is enjoying the scent, and it's aroma is filling him with delight. Suddenly there is a mental picture of himself standing on a meadow still wet with morning dew. The sun is rising, he is taking off his shirt and there are no scars. There is no trace of scar tissue at all on his whole body and his lung volume is back at 100%. He is laughing with joy. _This is how life is meant to be._ The woman is still smiling, but the expression on her face has changed. The smile appears somehow vague and dreamy now. The stranger's skin is as white as fresh snow that has never even heard of New York City, and so are her lips and her straight long hair. Even her eyelashes and brows are white. She's an albino, OCA1 most likely the scientist in Tony Stark decides. Somehow he is always in need of categorising objective evidence in order to keep his grip on reality. Then Tony sees the stranger's eyes. They are the colour of the darkest violets with just a hint of red shining through the dominant hue. The red tinge has probably been added just for the hell of it. This women, whoever she might be, simply does not need this detail to appear even more striking.

The fact that she has a more than just slightly giggly air about her seems to be a bit disturbing though.

While the Avengers, who have regained their eyesights by now too, are frantically trying to contact S.H.I.E.L.D. through their various electronic devices (JARVIS seems to have gone AWOL), the stranger is turning away from Tony. She is taking her hand off him, and all Tony wants is to be touched by her again. _Please breathe on me again_. He is watching her as she walks towards the windows and puts her hand on the spot Loki has thrown him through during the invasion of New York. She is leaving hand prints ( _greasy mystery woman hand prints on_ my _window,_ Tony Stark thinks) on the new window pane and starts to _giggle_. The strange woman is actively giggling.

Suddenly she looks up and focuses on the Avengers who are still trying to send messages to S.H.I.E.L.D..

„Please don't do that,“ the dainty woman says in a very polite voice. „Please don't try to contact your organisation. And put your weapons down. _All_ your weapons, Natasha Romanova. I'm not here to hurt you.“ But then she finds the place where the Hulk smashed Loki into the floor and stops her walk to stare at it. She kneels down to touch the very spot, and it seems to hurt her. She frowns deeply. „Or perhaps I am going to hurt you anyway,“ she says, directing her glance at Dr Bruce Banner. „I could, you know.“

The woman stands up again. She is heading for the bar in a beeline and chooses a stool to sit on. "So exiting," she whispers while taking care of her rumpled, long, white and silver silk gown. It takes her less than a minute to look neat again.

\-------

„Idunn,“ Thor says in this booming voice of his. „I believe you've got something for me.“

_Comic relief, anyone? Trust on Thor to deliver._


	2. Eat Your Greens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor gets a Golden Apple, someone is having a panic attack, and Tony makes some plans for the future of Stark Industries. Things seem to go better than can be reasonably expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is awkward. I have just discovered that it's four months since I posted the first chapter of this fic.
> 
> *Crawls under her desk.*
> 
> Huh, sorry?
> 
> Thank you for dropping in anyway. I really hope you are going to enjoy this instalment, and that it's been worth the wait. Have fun!

"A good day to you too, Thor," Idunn says amiably. "I trust I find you in good health?"

"Well, yes," Thor answers politely, and a little surprised. "Thank you for asking."

Tony notices a slight change in his posture. Thor always has a larger-than-life feel about him, but now he is radiating power, and he seems to be surrounded by a faint, almost invisible golden aura. Even Tony wouldn't dream of calling this version of his team mate Point Break. Clint Barton's eyes are enormous, and even Natasha Romanoff is looking slightly worried. Steve Rogers is sporting a concerned expression on his face while Dr Banner gingerly takes a sip of his soothing herbal infusion.

Unlike Jane, the Avengers have never seen Thor interact with other Asgardians.

And Jane had told them that it had been a scary experience.

 

"Professional interest," Idunn says. "Don't get exited."

Then, suddenly, there is another silvery blaze and she pulls an apple out of thin air. And damn, it's massive. It's a huge, massive fruit that looks like it is made of solid gold. It makes a nice contrast to the colour scheme of Idunn's hair, skin, dress and random energy flashes. There are several golden leafs still attached to the apple's stem, and Thor eyes them with distress.

The petite woman gets up and daintily places the apple on the table, just far away enough from the Thunderer so that he has to get up to reach it.

“Aren’t you supposed to hand it to me?” Thor asks.

Idunn, who has climbed her stool again, shrugs. “No.” Then she looks around, taking in the large, lofty room again. “You don’t seem to have much furniture, Stark.”

“What?” Tony had been too distracted by the apple to pay much attention to Idunn’s doings.

 _Idunn, the goddess of spring and youth, who grows the legendary Golden Apples that are said to give the Asgardians their longevity, robust health and general resilience,_ Tony thinks _. Could it be true? If only I could lay my hands on just a single cell of this thing... Perhaps I could get one of the leafs. Or the stem. Heck, I’d take the core if I must. Which would also provide me with a nice sample of Thor’s saliva and DNA. So the core it is. Aren’t there seeds in there? I could grow my own trees with that, and_ that _would be a good thing, I’m sure. There’s going to be revolutionary medication, and unheard of fringe benefits for my employees. I’d have my own range of food supplements and skincare products. A fragrance to promote them, too. I'd call it 'Idunn’s Secret', yeah, sounds great. Or 'Idunn’s Choice'? Perhaps I’d better ask Pepper about this._

_Oh, I want that apple core._

**Stark Industries to discover the secret of eternal youth.** Already, Tony has no problem visualising the headlines following his amazing breakthrough. And he has no doubts that he would succeed with decoding whatever Idunn has done to her fruits to give them their stunning, life-prolonging qualities. Tony has some of the world’s leading scientists working in his labs after all, _and_ he has a Bruce Banner. Tony gives his friend an approving look, turns his eyes towards Thor, gulps, and looks at Bruce again.

Bruce is stirring his tea with hectic, uneven movements. There is sweat on his his face, and his breathing sounds laboured. His knuckles have gone white. Tony thinks that he has never before seen a man grasping a teaspoon quite like this. “You all right, buddy?”

Very, very slowly and carefully Bruce moves his head in a gesture of denial.

Natasha leans forward and takes the teacup away from his shaking hands. “No use in scalding yourself,” she murmurs soothingly. The spy and assassin has a a look of quiet concern in her eyes that is a far cry from the cool, hard and calculating expression she is usually sporting.

Steve Rogers looks alarmed. “What is happening?”

The only people in the room who appear to be unperturbed by Bruce Banner’s uncharacteristic behaviour are Thor, who keeps looking at his apple, and Idunn, who is busy sneering at the view outside of Tony’s window.

“It’s feeling... odd,” Bruce says a few moments later. His breathing is more even now, and his hands are calm again. “It felt like the Other Guy was having something like a slight panic attack.”

“Huh?” And then Tony remembers. Within minutes of her arrival, Idunn had totally threatened the Hulk, and Tony had thought that it was just another freaky Asgardian thing.

Like, arriving at a new place and throwing their weight around instead of being conventional and boring by saying things like 'hi', or 'how do you do'. Or _maybe_ this was considered the conventional way on Asgard. Tony remembers very well how Thor had attacked him with his legendary war hammer Mjolnir when they first met. There had been no warning at all. And all this while trespassing on the Avenger’s Quinjet in an attempt to abduct their prisoner.

Talking of which.

Thor’s nut job baby brother Loki has easily surpassed them all. He was probably overcompensating for some imagined slights he experienced while still at the kindergarten. _Oh, Thor has already knocked out the new kid, I’m going to hit the next one twice as hard._

 _Okay, not funny_ , Tony thinks, recalling the people Loki had killed or brainwashed when he made his entrance at the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound where the Tesseract had been kept. Then Tony decides to stop pondering, and asks Idunn directly if she was responsible for Bruce’s current condition.

Idunn nods, and points at the spot where Loki had got coldcocked by the Hulk. “I felt it appropriate to send the Other Guy, as you so amusingly call him, a friendly warning to behave while I’m around. Otherwise I might decide that _this_ is far from over.”

“So you send out warnings before you lash out, do you?” Tony gives Thor a sour look. “Well, that’s a step up from certain other Asgardians I met.”

“How did you send the warning?” Clint asks in a suspicious voice. “Are you telepathic?”

“I can make you hear my thoughts in your mind if I chose to, yes.”

“I knew it! More Asgardian mind fuckery!” Clint leans back on the couch he’s sitting on and bites his lower lip. He is so _done_ with these people.

Idunn giggles. It really does sound very girlish. “And it is not at all banned by your celebrated Geneva Conventions, Hawkeye. There is nothing you can do about this. But I think it’s time that this young lady speaks her mind. Tell me, Agent Romanova, have you finished your assessment of me?”

Natasha looks startled, but regains her composure within seconds. It is true. She has been watching the goddess very closely, trying to figure out her personal traits and weaknesses. Then Natasha smiles at Idunn. “Not yet. But I would greatly appreciate it if you told me how you plan to take on the Hulk. The title _goddess of spring and youth_ does not imply any forms of violence.”

“Is violence the _only_ solution to the problem you can think about, Natasha Romanova? Then I’m sorry, I can’t help you. You’ll have to find someone else to thank them for their cooperation today. I’m not game. And _goddess of spring and youth_ is neither a title nor a job description. It’s what I am.”

“There are those who think that Idunn is life herself,” Thor says suddenly, looking up from the apple that is still sitting where Idunn has put it.

“Yes, Thor. There are those.” Idunn gives the god a patronising smile. “Are you planning to eat your apple today? I can’t leave before you’ve eaten up, you know.”

Now it is Thor’s time to smile patronising, and he’s making a great show of it. He’s reaching out for the apple in the slowest motion possible, grinning all the time and keeping his eyes on Idunn.

Tony feels it is a bit childish, but hey. He his going to describe this scene to Pepper the next time she complains to him about his antics. If a centuries, or even millennia old Norse god is allowed to act like a spoiled child, Tony feels he might do so, too. “What do you mean ‘life herself’?” he asks after a while.

Thor withdraws his hand again, and looks questioningly at his shield brother.

Tony feels he should elaborate. “You mean like, huh, an immanent life force? Is she some kind of anthropomorphic personification?”

“I would know none of that, my friend,” Thor says.

“And I’m not going to tell,” Idunn adds happily. “Have you not heard what happens to those who learn the secrets of the gods?”

“First: I haven’t. Second: I don’t care. I thinks it’s just a lot of showboating anyway.”

“That’s a potentially dangerous attitude, Stark, but I let it pass. Thor, please don’t tell your father about this. You know how creative he gets when he feels that someone is not showing him proper respect.”

Thor reaches out for the apple again. When he touches it, the golden leafs take on a fresh green, and the colour of the fruit itself turns slowly into a bright, vivid green that looks not entirely healthy. “You know I prefer red apples, don’t you?” Thor asks conversationally.

“Indeed I do. Loki told me so.” Idunn picks at one of the silver vambraces she is wearing. Tony thinks that it is strange combination with her silk dress and all, but then, what does he know? Perhaps mixing silk and pieces of armour is a _thing_ now. He makes up his mind to ask Pepper tomorrow and find out.

Thor blinks, and looks a little distressed at the mention of his late brother. Then he takes his first bite. It is a very small one, and he chews it very slowly.

“You are going to drag this out, are you not?” asks Idunn.

Thor shrugs, swallows, and nibbles at the fruit again.

He reminds Tony on a squirrel he had watched at a bird-table years ago. The small rodent was feeding on sunflower seeds, and showed far more determination than the Thunderer. _Well, watching Thor eating an apple in slow-motion is still an improvement over the flick we had on earlier_ , Tony thinks. _That reminds me... Oh, fuck.  
_

“Who has switched off my TV? Idunn, have you messed with my TV-set?”

“I felt it was an unneccessary distraction, just like your other electronic devices.”

“And what about JARVIS? JARVIS? Are you there?”

Idunn gives him another one of her celebrated sweet smiles. “Please do not worry, Stark. Your AI will return to you as soon as I’m gone.”

“Is there any room for negotiations? I’m really fond of JARVIS. And what do you know about AIs anyway?”

“A lot, Stark. I’ve been spending quite some time with research to find out what’s been going on on your realm ever since Odin’s withdrawal. The New York Public Library, the internet, you name it. I even went to some evening classes to learn how to interact with modern-day humans. It was the most _remarkable_ experience.”

Tony looks at her in disbelieve. _Now this is plain crazy_.

“Nobody likes a nosey know-all, Idunn,” Thor says. He has plucked a leaf from the apple's stem, and is sniffing at it in disgust. Then he wrinkles his nose, bites off a piece, and swallows it whole without chewing.

The sparkle in Idunn’s eyes as he performs this remarkable feat does not escape Tony. _Oh well_ , he thinks. _There seems to be some bullshitting going on_. “Eat your greens, Thor," he tells the Thunderer before he turns to Idunn again. "So I take it you’ve been to New York recently?”

“Oh yes.”

“Any other gods, too? Because somehow, the idea of droves of Asgardian tourists sneaking around my town unannounced is not sitting well with me.”

“And I can see why," Idunn says genially. "Again: Please do not worry, Stark. It was just me, and some of the girls.”

"Just you and the girls, then. Doing research in New York.”

Idunn confirms this with a nod. “And naturally I wanted to see the damage. You know, there was so much talk and gossip in Asgard, I felt it would be better to come and see for myself. Only to find that, just as usual, rumours were grossly exaggerated.”

“I’m just a little lost now, Idunn. What damage are you talking about?” Tony is starting to feel slightly worried about the way this conversation is going. Also, it is starting to get dark and the atmosphere is turning a bit eerie. "And could you please turn on the lights? We can switch them off for the ghost stories again if you like."

The goddess doesn't seem to hear him first and picks at the vambraces she is wearing instead. It seems to be quite a habit with her. Then she looks up. “What? Oh, of course. Light, 80%.”

“Thank you," Tony says. "80%, huh? Nice touch.”

“I told you I did my research.”

Tony sighs in resignation. “And I’m sure as hell going to check my security systems as soon as you have left the premises.”

“Please do so, Stark.” Idunn bends her head and smirks at him.

“And now back to my other question: What damage were you talking about?”

The Asgardian looks Tony straight into the eyes and runs a finger smoothly over her forearm guards before answering. “I was talking about the damage done to your town by Loki and his stupid army.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really, really sorry that it has taken me so absurdly long to update this fic.
> 
> I'm sure I won't abandon _Appletime_ , but I can't make promises about frequent update. Sorry.
> 
> I'd like to thank you for reading, and hope you are enjoying the story so far. Please remember that comments are digital chocolate: I'm looking forward to reading your opininons, questions or suggestions for this tale and will try to post my answers soon.
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
